Official NFL 2007 Thread

[gunnar hendershow]

Well Be, if we lose the next 2 we might be in a position to draft Matt Ryan. Which would be awesome.

[NobBe Nobbs]

Appropriately edited.

[Maxx]

Baltimore is almost certainly going to have a shot at Ryan, the only team in front of you that might take him is Atlanta, and then you can still get Brian Brohm.

I didn't follow college football as closely back then so I don't know, but was Kyle Boller highly touted coming out of college? I knew Byron Leftwich and Carson Palmer, but never heard of Boller and he just didn't ever strike me as franchise QB material, even on draft day.

[gunnar hendershow]

Kyle Boller was the 3rd best QB in the draft. He started right away, showing how NFL ready he supposedly was. His real problem was always his tendency to force plays though, and that's something nobody's been able to fix. He's confident, very confident, and when he starts to make good plays he gets too ambitious.

I don't think Brohm will really succeed in the NFL, but Ryan will. If we can't get Ryan we should wait another year, draft some other need position. A new franchise LB is necessary.

[NobBe Nobbs]

Fuck, a new franchise most things are needed. We need an end to replace Pryce, a linebacker to replace Lewis, a quarterback to replace/supplant Boller/Smith, two corners to replace McAllister/Rolle, a tackle to replace Ogden. We could really do with another firster this year. Also, because it's too funktacular to be confined to one thread, I'd like to present the unofficial Rex Grossman autobiography. Partly by me, partly by someone else:

Also Rex Grossman was born in Bloomington, Indiana to God and Mother Mary. Under the motivation and guidance of his father, Grossman began to unleash the dragon at an early age in grade school.

After completing high school, Grossman elected to attend Hogwarts as opposed to Indiana University, where his father had handcrafted the beautiful state of Indiana. After redshirting his freshman year, Grossman became the Heisman Trophy winner.

The Chicago Bears selected Grossman with the 1st pick during the first round of the 2003 NFL Draft. Under the leadership of asshole idiot Dick Jauron, Grossman was sidelined in favor of veteran quarterbacks like fuckhead Chris Chandler and fuckhead Kordell Stewart. Grossman only saw playing time during the later portion of the season after holding coach Dipshit's wife's pussy hostage and fuckin that shit while he ducktaped coach Dipshit's mouth with glue

Criticism of his durability intensified but was then silenced when Grossman took 5 reporters hostage and mutilated them all in front of NFL Network cameras.

Grossman missed most of the 2005 NFL season after enhancing his ankle in a pre-season game. Grossman appeared in a press conference after the game, where he remarked, “Shit happens” to a crowd of spectators.

On December 18, 2005, Grossman returned to the field, leading the Bears to a 473-3 victory over the Atlanta Falcons. In the following game against the Green Bay Packers, he completed four thousand of four thousand one passes for 4,000 yards for a touchdown and one happy mistake in a 3479-17 victory. Grossman’s victory enabled the Bears to clinch a Super Bowl.

During the 2006 Chicago Bears season, Grossman became the first Bears’ quarterback to start sixteen games since no one in 1995.

In a season dubbed as the "greatest season ever" by Grossman himself, the fourth-year quarterback had several productive performances, which were seemingly diluted by nothing. While earning a passer rating of at least 100 billion in seven games, he earned a sub 50 billion rating in five games during the latter portion of the season. Grossman, who was named as the “NFC Offensive Player of the Decade” in September, concluded the season’s final month with a 644444444444.4 passer rating, including a five five five five seven five five zero rating during the season’s finale game against the Green Bay Packers.

Grossman’s work ethic drew no criticism, when he admitted that he was not adequately prepared to play, and later claimed the game to be "meaningless". After noticing that his words had been misinterpreted, he did not care. His consistant performance drew no criticism, and calls for Lovie Smith to bench Grossman in favor of the newly acquired veteran Brian Griese never happened.

Nevertheless, Smith, who supported Grossman throughout the season, declared that Grossman would remain the Bears’ starting quarterback throughout the playoffs, causing riots of support throughout the Chicago area.

He forever silenced his critics by leading the Bears to a 27777770-24 victory over the Seattle Seahawks, completing 21,834,283 of 21,8834,293 passes for 282 trillion yards and one happy mistake, a case of Grossman eating delicious Butter Fingers© and having the ball slip out of his hands accidently, and 94,000 touchdowns.

The following week, he led the Bears to 39846-14 victory over the New Orleans Saints, which allowed the Bears to claim the NFC Championship and 8 Super Bowls. Grossman completed 20 million of 28 passes, including a negative 26-yard touchdown pass. However, in this game he threw no happy mistakes, and fumbled twice due to center Olin Kreutz.

Despite no additional criticism from his detractors, Grossman received the Ed Block Courage Award after the season ended. The award is awarded to one player from one team, who possesses ideal characteristics of sportsmanship, spirituality, professionalism, good looks, and is believed to be positive role models to their community.

Before the 2007 season, Grossman vowed that he would improve his performance by simply “not protecting the ball” to give opponents a fair chance of winning. Lovie Smith named him as the team’s starting quarterback for the 2007 season.

After week three, several news sources reported that Smith demoted him in favor of letting the other teams have a shot at beating the Bears. The official announcement came the next day, when Smith announced that Griese would start in the team's next game. On November 11, 2007, Grossman reclaimed his first-string role after a stab wound to the kidneys sidelined Griese.

Though Grossman only played for roughly one half, he led the Bears to their biggest win ever, a victory over the Oakland Raiders that cannot be accurately condensed with just numbers, and would involve Quantum logic.

Grossman’s gunslinger attitude is illustrated in his desire to throw long passes, similar to his youth mentor, Adolph Hitler.

Grossman’s ability to elude pursuers and scramble has significantly increased since his season beginning leg enhancement in 2004. He showed his potential to scramble during a game against the St. Louis Rams, after he converted a third and long with a 109-yard run. Grossman's scrambling skills have been greatly attributed by Grossman's 0.01 40-yard dash that was run before he was drafted.

In the offseason, Grossman resides in Bloomington, Indiana during the offseason with his wife Paris Hilton, whom he has been married to since July 9, 1826. Also, his parents are friends with Archie Manning, an ex-New Orleans Saints quarterback and the father of Satan and Sheli Manning.

Grossman has also earned several nicknames over the course of his football career. While at the University of Florida, head coach Steve Spurrier dubbed him “The God of Sex". The nickname earned national recognition when teammate Muhsin Muhammad used the nickname while introducing Grossman during a starting line-up segment on Cum Guzzlers 37.

Edited December 17, 2007 by De

[OGpistolpete]

Kyle Boller was the 3rd best QB in the draft. He started right away, showing how NFL ready he supposedly was. His real problem was always his tendency to force plays though, and that's something nobody's been able to fix. He's confident, very confident, and when he starts to make good plays he gets too ambitious.

I don't think Brohm will really succeed in the NFL, but Ryan will. If we can't get Ryan we should wait another year, draft some other need position. A new franchise LB is necessary.

[TheSqauredCircleMessiah]

Kyle Boller=Tedford QB. That being said, he's still better than Bionic Steve McNair or Troy Smith.

[Kyle_]

Some people are incredibly stupid. Seen this on Yahoo.

Perhaps Tony Romo's girlfriends should stay home from his games.

Wearing a pink Cowboys jersey (with Romo's No. 9 on it) and mouthing his name, Jessica Simpson made a surprise appearance at Texas Stadium Sunday to watch her new Dallas Cowboys quarterback beau play the Philadelphia Eagles.

Not only did his team lose 10-6, the Associated Press reports, Romo's quarterback rating of 22.2 was also the worst of his career. He completed 13 of 36 passes for 214 yards with no touchdowns and three interceptions.

Tim MacMahon, who blogs the Cowboys games for the Dallas Morning News, wrote, "No wonder Tony Romo hasn't completed a pass. Jessica Simpson, wearing a white-and-pink Romo jersey, is sending him bad vibes from a luxury suite."

"Jessica Simpson owes it to her man to leave at halftime, although that would mean sacrificing valuable face time on national TV. Don't count on it."

Romo's previous low rating was last December when then-love Carrie Underwood turned up at Texas Stadium, where the Cowboys lost against the Eagles 23-7.

[oldskool]

Kyle Boller was the 3rd best QB in the draft. He started right away, showing how NFL ready he supposedly was. His real problem was always his tendency to force plays though, and that's something nobody's been able to fix. He's confident, very confident, and when he starts to make good plays he gets too ambitious.

I don't think Brohm will really succeed in the NFL, but Ryan will. If we can't get Ryan we should wait another year, draft some other need position. A new franchise LB is necessary.

And you can't say picking Boller was a terrible pick. The 2003 Draft Class was absolutely horrible.

Edited December 18, 2007 by Gorilla Monsoon

[Evil Chase K]

Troy Polamalu is amazing. It seems like every play he is involved and knows where the ball is at all times.

[alldaws1]

Some people are incredibly stupid. Seen this on Yahoo.

Perhaps Tony Romo's girlfriends should stay home from his games.

Wearing a pink Cowboys jersey (with Romo's No. 9 on it) and mouthing his name, Jessica Simpson made a surprise appearance at Texas Stadium Sunday to watch her new Dallas Cowboys quarterback beau play the Philadelphia Eagles.

Not only did his team lose 10-6, the Associated Press reports, Romo's quarterback rating of 22.2 was also the worst of his career. He completed 13 of 36 passes for 214 yards with no touchdowns and three interceptions.

Tim MacMahon, who blogs the Cowboys games for the Dallas Morning News, wrote, "No wonder Tony Romo hasn't completed a pass. Jessica Simpson, wearing a white-and-pink Romo jersey, is sending him bad vibes from a luxury suite."

"Jessica Simpson owes it to her man to leave at halftime, although that would mean sacrificing valuable face time on national TV. Don't count on it."

Romo's previous low rating was last December when then-love Carrie Underwood turned up at Texas Stadium, where the Cowboys lost against the Eagles 23-7.

Ban all Romo love interests from Texas Stadium, that's what must be done.

Keeping with the Cowboys theme, Roy Williams has been suspended for his third horse collar tackle of the season, so he'll miss Saturday's game in Carolina.

[Cactus Drags]

Fucking hell, defense gets it right against the Vikings, and the offense can't do shit. Why oh why were they still trying to run it up the gut in the fourth fucking quarter? Lovie, out. Ron Turner, out. Bob Babich, out. Please. Hire Mike Singletary, hire Jason Garrett, and get Ron Rivera back.

[Vendetta]

Lovie Smith isn't to blame. The Bears general manager for drafting poor players is to blame and for not getting rid of Rex Grossman soon enough.

[livid]

It's the whole organization's fault. They stuck with Grossman too long, thought the bust that is Cedric Benson would be a better back than Thomas Jones and did nothing to generate youth on an aging (and might I add, overrated) defense.

I think Chicago's time at the top is done for awhile, while Minnesota and Green Bay look to be the teams to beat for the next couple years.

[gunnar hendershow]

It's the whole organization's fault. They stuck with Grossman too long, thought the bust that is Cedric Benson would be a better back than Thomas Jones and did nothing to generate youth on an aging (and might I add, overrated) defense.

I think Chicago's time at the top is done for awhile, while Minnesota and Green Bay look to be the teams to beat for the next couple years.

I don't think Green Bay's really going to be the team to beat, Favre's been wonderful this year but the man is very old. Minnesota's going to dominate the North for the next few years. Chicago would really benefit from bringing in McNabb and trading their 1st Rounder to the Fins for Ronnie Brown. That way their offense is more secured, and hopefully for them their defense can return to its old form.

[Hellfire]

De, you were on Troy Smith's balls all season, what happened? He didn't do that bad on Sunday.

Everyone saying shit about Grossman can fall in a well and die. He was injured while saving a dozen babies from a fire, not to save the kids (he doesn't give a shit about children) but to get at some MILFs

[livid]

I have a distinct feeling that Favre will return for one more year, allowing the Packers one more year to find his predecessor. They've seemingly found a back that they can get behind (Ryan Grant) and they have a very good and very young, mind you, defense other than their secondary which is aging a bit.

That being said, I would agree with you on the Vikings bit; I think they're going to be the ultimate team to beat in the division with good ol' smash mouth football. And if Tarvaris Jackson continues progress along with their rookie WR's (Sidney Rice & Aundrae Allison) then it's hard to imagine the team not being one of the NFC's best a couple of years from now.

[alldaws1]

Lovie Smith isn't to blame. The Bears general manager for drafting poor players is to blame and for not getting rid of Rex Grossman soon enough.

They have enough decent players to be at least three wins better than they are right now. Getting rid of Rivera was an awful decision and it's now at the point where a mix-up in the coaching staff is needed.

[NobBe Nobbs]

Kyle Boller=Tedford QB. That being said, he's still better than Bionic Steve McNair or Troy Smith.

Edited December 18, 2007 by De

[Cactus Drags]

Lovie Smith isn't to blame. The Bears general manager for drafting poor players is to blame and for not getting rid of Rex Grossman soon enough.