What Did You Watch Today?

[Johnny Drama]

the girl next door 8/10 really good film to watch and very funny in places

[fineintent]

Fist of Legend - 5/10.

Although Jet Li's athleticism is to be marvelled at, this loses not only something in translation but also reminds me of a cheap reworking of the classic Fist of Fury. It maybe pastiche, but falls short.

[ROC]

Pumpkin - 6.5/10 or (**1/2) It's a pretty decent film. Christina Ricci gives more than enough reason for you to watch (and quite honestly, it's not because she's hot, though, she is).

The Substitute 4 - 3.5/10 or (*1/2) STV fodder. Treat Williams can be a good actor when given a dramatic role, but he and the rest of the cast just suck here.

[ROC]

What A Girl Wants - 5.5/10 or (**) It's another 'bleh' teen flick, but Bynes that has that charm to make you keep watching. She certainly has more likability and talent than Hilary Duff. Whenever she gets a good role, look for her to bust out into fame. For now, she's decent enough in this.

[St. Dubb]

Ace Ventura: Pet Dective - 9/10 I absolutely love this movie and was able to catch it last night instead of going to see a movie after my girlfriend cancelled on me (). I like both Ace Ventura movies with this one squeaking ahead by a little in which one I like more.

[ROC]

Ferris Bueller's Day Off - 7.5/10 or (***) Another example of a solid 80s teen flick. Some of today's teen comedies could learn a thing of two about fun teen movies from this. Dont' forget that it's from John Hughes, too, so it has some good quality.

[Numbahs]

Metallica: Some Kind Of Monster - 8/10

I highly doubt that a documentary will come out this year and be better than this. An Oscar nomination(at least) seems close.

[ROC]

Bachelor Party - 6/10 or (**1/2) All the insanity an R-rated sex comedy needs though I do find it quite amazing how one of Hollywood's current top talents is in this. Of course I'm talking about Adrian Zmed.

[BlackFlagg]

Star Wars - 10/10

Edited August 21, 2004 by BlackFlagg

[Ananas]

Connie and Carla - 3/10

What a fucking trainwreck. Shitty music sang poorly mixed in with lame humour and David Duchovny. From now on, Nia Vardalos should stop writing movies unless they're about big Greek weddings that happen to be a little fat. Thumbs down.

[BlackFlagg]

Kuffs - 7.5/10

Edited August 22, 2004 by BlackFlagg

[Laice07]

Exorcist: The Beginning

1/10

Short version: It sucked!

Long version: (MAJOR SPOILERS)

I’ll start by saying that I think the sequals of the original film were dumb and boring. Exorcist 4 fits right in. It wants to be a horror version of Raiders of the Lost Arc so badly, but it has no idea how. It’s a floundering mess of a film that by the way is not remotely scary.

Oh I don’t know, maybe a 3 or 4 year old child might be disturbed by some of the imagery, but anyone aside from a devout Christian (they’re afraid of anything that isn’t Christian ) will find themselves admiring the simple pleasure of their cup holder and the pretty lights going up the aisle instead of being enthralled with the film they just paid to see.

It opens with a battlefield full of dead soldiers, what looks like millions of them. Many are hung on upside down crosses. Why? No clue. Who did this? No idea. We do know that there are lots of noisy crows around and you know what they say about crows, they’re evil.

So then we cut to the Beloq vs. Indy at the restaurant scene from Raiders. This time Beloq wants him to find this little demon head totem thingee. He’s even got a nifty “leather impression” of it. This is just befuddling. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how one would even make a leather impression and how it could remain unchanged for what must have been thousands of years, especially when it spends a lot of time in people’s pockets. It’s pretty much just a round lump anyway so I suppose he could have just said “It’s round and about as big as an orange”. That would have been just as helpful.

So Indy goes to this little villa in the middle of the desert where they are excavating a Christian church that is too far south to even be in existence. When’s the last time YOU used 2 X’s in the same sentence? This is a little puzzling though because all that’s uncovered is the dome with no Christian symbolism at all. How’d they know it was Christian? They don’t have any phones so how’d they even tell anyone about it? Especially in time for the Vatican to gather Indy and the priest together and send them.....oh hell, what’s the point of applying logic to this film?

So they lower themselves by rope through a hole in the ceiling. Sound familiar? Is the floor covered with snakes? Well no, but later Indy finds a sarcophagus in it that he opens with a crowbar.

Enter hot doctor chick. This is an amusing scene because her blouse is open a bit and her chest is just a waterfall of “sweat” even though her face and hair are bone dry. By this point in the film you’re just hoping to at least see her naked. Sorry, you see a little bit of the side of her breast in a quick shot later, but that’s it.

But enough of the story, it’s boring just relaying it. A big problem with this film is that it’s riddled with cliches. It’s all here folks, from the lantern that stops working, to the electricity (???) that goes out and someone has to go to the fuse box. The dream within the dream of the kid that is freaky “Where’s your mommy little girl?”, “What are you doing here?”, waking up to find someone next to you,etc. And let’s not forget those pesky crows who seem to be everywhere, even inside the tomb. You wouldn’t think the middle of the African desert would be home to so many crows, but apparently it is.

There are two elements about this film that I liked, the Nazi flashbacks and the hyenas. I would have much preferred to see the Nazi story than this film, but I like how they weaved it in even if it is cliche. I liked the hyenas too though their presence made zero sense. I guess they are Renny Harlan’s version of the rottweilers in The Omen. I’d much rather watch a movie about them too. They actually provide a quick jump scare in the middle of the film.

Then we start going down the checklist of Exorcist elements. We’ve got the shaking bed, the swearing, the sexual antagonism, it’s just all so damn SILLY! I was sort of chuckling through the whole thing. A baby born crawling with maggots? Who came up with that idea? But there’s still plenty of Indy references too, like a floor crawling with insects and wandering around in a secret cave with his little native boy.

This is a truly failed film. I can’t believe they decided the previous incarnation was so bad that they had to replace it with THIS! My GOD how bad must the other version have been? I’ll tell you something that really bothers me about these films, they’re all about Satan and yet after all this time it never once explores him as a mythological figure. Who is he? What does he want? What is his relationship to man? What is his relationship to God? If they were to actually make a film about THAT I’d be very pleased. As it stands this is probably the worst film I’ve seen so far this year. Go watch Thunderbirds instead.

Edited August 21, 2004 by Laice_

[BlackFlagg]

The Empire Strikes Back - 10/10

[Ananas]

Leon: The Professional - 8.5/10

Natalie Portman was even fantastic here at 12, and of course the amazing Gary Oldman is good here as well. The key here is the relationship between Portman's Matilda and Jean Reno's Leon. Entertaining till the last moment. Thumbs up.

[Numbahs]

Election - 6/10

Snatch - 7/10

[Guest Pulp]

Spun - 7/10

Ripped of Reqium for a Dream quite a bit. Still a solid movie. Billy Corgan did the music(and a cameo), and the cook looks like Ted Nugent.

[BlackFlagg]

Kalifornia - 7.5/10

[St. Dubb]

Honeymoon in Vegas - 6/10

Nothing better to do tonight so I watched this. It may not be the smartest movie or even the funniest, but it was decent enough. Plus I've always liked Nicholas Cage and I thought he was good in this. Some good one liners here and there. Sarah Jessica Parker's character got on my nerves though. Loved the soundtrack of Elvis songs as well. But the Flying Elvises was the highlight. Sure there's better movies out there, but if you've got nothing better to do on a rainy night like it is here, this is a good movie to sit down and watch.

[BlackFlagg]

Twister - 6/10

[ROC]

This Girl's Life - 5.5/10 or (**) Decent porn star story starring newcomer Juliette Marquis (Playing Moon, who looks just like Milla Jovovich), James Woods (as Moon's ailing father), and Kip Pardue (as a dude named...Kip). This story is decent and at least tells a pretty decent story before the porno bits.

Femme Fatale - 6/10 or (**1/2) Now here is a flick that is basically an excuse to see Rebecca Romijn-Stamos nude. The story is not very compelling but if you desire a RRS lesbian scene (I think Numbahs will back me up on that) or even a RRS full frontal, this'll be a film to watch. Dont' put your expectations too high, though.