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England - The Southgate Years


Lineker

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The idea that a German couldn't possibly manage England will definitely be thrown around because a lot of fans mistakenly believe that England are Germany's arch rivals. As the most successful European football nation, everyone seems to think that they're Germany's biggest enemies. The Netherlands at least have the neighbouring country argument on their side.

Really, if we're looking at which country could be considered England's main rivals, based on a fairly even competitive record in big stakes matches this century, it's Croatia.

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If the fans who thought Gareth Southgate didn't play exciting enough football think Tuchel will be better for that, oh boy.

Presumably they will just default to "he's German" when we lose, as they can't possibly claim the Champions League winning coach isn't successful enough to be England boss.

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1 hour ago, Bobfoc said:

The idea that a German couldn't possibly manage England will definitely be thrown around because a lot of fans mistakenly believe that England are Germany's arch rivals. As the most successful European football nation, everyone seems to think that they're Germany's biggest enemies. The Netherlands at least have the neighbouring country argument on their side.

Really, if we're looking at which country could be considered England's main rivals, based on a fairly even competitive record in big stakes matches this century, it's Croatia.

But rivalries aren't based on this cold statistical calculation. It's based on shared history and good stories.

I'm a Kilmarnock fan and Ayr are our big rivals. Not because there is any level of parity. We're fucking amazing (21/22 Scottish Championship winners!) and Ayr are shite and we're pretty much always in the league above them. But that doesn't matter. Ayr are our rivals because they are the next town over and I fucking hate them.

Likewise, Germany are good rivals for England because the Germans got their asses beaten in 1918 and 1945 and 1966 and in return Germany inflicted the 1990 defeat on England which turned the English into (bigger) crybabies and the 1996 defeat which meant that fucking awful song would stay with us forever and ever and both of them have given England lots of trauma.

Okay with Croatia you've got 2018 but it's not really quite as entertaining a story and in 2008 England were shit anyway so WGAF.

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Love me some Tuchel. Also the idea that England's quote-unquote "years of hurt" might come to an end via a German manager is exactly the kind of infuriating-to-the-sort-of-people-who-care poetic shit that the cosmos seems to adore.

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