Chris2K

Boo, Salah scored.

Gundogan is going full Aguero.

I just went away for a few minutes and the Etihad score has changed somewhat.

OK now I feel like 4th might be secure, and I really hope Sonny gets the golden boot.

So that's 4th place secure now, right? ... Right?

VILLA LEAD!

Harry! Norwich are thankfully playing as woefully as Everton.

You beautiful ginger Swede. Not being able to watch it is painful though.

Surely having a drone camera flying around the track is just an accident waiting to happen? EDIT: There it is again. I assume those F1 fans who love sprint races must have also been longing for seeing the cars in unsteady, low-definition video output.

Huge development, hopefully George can keep Max behind him (although I'm expecting him to get undercut now).

Turn 4 appears to have turned into the world's hottest ice rink.

Hearing Lewis essentially give up on a race on lap 5 is a little bit concerning. Jesus Christ Carlos, what is the matter with you?

Kudos to whoever came up with the idea to have all the Red Bull personnel drinking cans of Red Bull Green during FP2. Fernando has also gone off on the FIA's decision making and general running of the first races of the season, pretty much calling Niels Wittich, race director of every race so far this season, incompetent and lacking race knowledge.

In the space of a few days we've had pitch invasions for winning a semi-final and managing to avoid relegation. This shit really needs to stop before more people get hurt. Oh, and now another one at Port Vale with Swindon players getting attacked.

How about we add a new Daredevil series to the mix? And it's thought to be a continuation of the Netflix series.

It's weird that her CG looks really wonky in parts, but Professor Hulk looks perfect throughout. Also is that a wild David Otunga in the dates montage?

One part done, now to spend the rest of the week worrying about who will score Norwich's winner.

An own goal, how unfortunate. Every Arsenal player appears to have an injury at this moment. YES BRUNO, I WON'T INSULT YOU BY TRYING TO SPELL YOUR SURNAME SIR.

Ah, the bare minimum, how I love you.

Horrible penalty from Mane. And now an idiot throws a flare.

At this rate Arsenal will be ringing around Bould, Adams and Keown to see if they're free for a game on Monday.

There was never a man named better for how he spent most of his time on the pitch than Rob Holding. Even my lack of faith is being ignored, I can't quite figure out how we could lose from here.

To be fair, McCullum is one of the best captains in cricket history, there's no way that New Zealand become as good as they are now without McCullum re-defining how test cricket can be played back when he was captain. I'm sure he'll be a good coach too, but the issue is with the system at the moment so Rob Key is going to have to be the person making a bigger impact than McCullum or Stokes.

So now it goes from Miami to Spain, then to Monaco, then to Azerbaijan, then to Canada, then to Britain. Some fine scheduling to help team personnel spend more time at home...