Chris2K

Not sure what game Danny Murphy was watching.

"Well it's England 1, Italy 1 at half time, but let's not analyse this game and instead see how [enter any other team here] are preparing for their fixture in three days time." Oh wait, that's not how it works for England games.

Italy's round 10-9 due to that late flurry

Good God what an audacious attempt that was. POST! FOUL! WHY NO FOUL?

Ugh.

MARCHISIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO What a fantastic set piece.

Sirigu what are you doing.

Pirlo seems to be everywhere and involved in everything. I've barely heard Gerrard's name mentioned.

Is this 5-a-side rules where you're not allowed to go/shoot inside the penalty area?

"We need a commentator for the England game, is Gary Neville available?" "No, he's part of the England staff and contracted to Sky." "Wait, isn't there another Neville?" "Yeah! Phil! He'll do!" "Excellent, let's get down the pub."

Because you're a traitor? You're right. I shouldn't have sung God Save The Queen.

I'm sure my neighbours are wondering why I was singing Fratelli D'Italia louder than God Save The Queen.

Yeah I thought the decision you have to make was the end of them. And then came ten minutes more.

I've just got in to see Uruguay losing 3-1 and Maxi Pereira trying to kill someone. Have I missed much today?

GOAL LINE TECHNOLOGY CAMERA IS USEFUL~!

Nile Ranger? Nile Ranger had to turn down his chance to play at the World Cup due to having several court appearances scheduled during the tournament dates.

There is a Swindon player at the World Cup? LOCAL BOY DONE GOOD

Hey! Cahill! He's still got it!

It is actually good, as it tells when a goal is in or not. However, using it when it is an obvious goal seems nothing more than 'LOOK AT ME, LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!' It's the equivalent of someone running in a touchdown untouched, and the TV broadcasters showing slow-motion footage to prove the ball crossed the plane of the goal-line just because they have a camera there.

Oh Australia. You will not be advancing fair.

Well that was incredibly predictable. The Aussie keeper's been watching the Casillas masterclass.

The blonde girl has a constant look of "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOT DOING." I am struggling to remain interested in this match which is slightly harsh eight minutes in.

Fixed.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I cannot BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA enough.

Good GOD this is a rout. Robben is just insanely fast for the 80th minute.