Katsuya

Here we go, it's the fault of the pitch now. This has been such a dull match after the opening flurries.

Every single time that the Uruguayans try and so something a little fancy, they get immediately dispossessed. It's hard to believe they've not quite twigged this either.

Bwahahaha!

Somewhere, del Bosque is calling travel agents on cheap flights out of Brazil whilst watching this match...

that was beautiful, Torres.

That's what happens when you play the goalkeeper who's barely even second choice for his team...

That. The inside is the correct line to take when you have two cars really, as shown by Robserg forcing Lewis wide at the start.

That Ade Edmondson quote is wonderful. This is a really sad death though for me. I loved Bottom growing up, as inappropriate as it was for me to watch. Still love it to this day.

5 place penalty for Chilton and Perez. Both seem fair - you could see Perez move sharp to the left just a fraction before they touched.

What Zero said times a million. It's glorious. Online works so seamlessly too. But yeah - it actually feels a whole lot more balanced now too, especially with the changes to the blue shell. Only thing I don't like is Crazy 8, which seems way too crazy OP at times.

Slovenia deserved better, as did Malta and Switzerland. They were the ones who majorly underperformed, as opposed to Germany and Belarus who probably overperformed.

Apparently we came 5th on the televote but much, much lower with the juries. The UK televote put Poland 1st but the jury ranked it last so they got no points. Doesn't seen particularly fair that one.

Molly was good but completely underwhelming. Halfway through the song I knew she'd blown it. Partially the EBU's fault for having 26 song finals and not 24, I'd say. Love that Azerbaijan couldn't cheat this year and finished so low down too.

Austria deserved it. It was an incredible performance. And yes, it was a statement that had to be made too.

RIIIIIIIIISE LIKE A PHOENIX

Austria or the Netherlands.

ALL OF THE TITS

There's a Switzerland handicap bet on Bet 365 which is something like +120 and was 12/1 when I bet on that. Pretty sure that's a lock. My thoughts/predictions on what will happen, by the way: http://365daysofeurope.wordpress.com/

If there is I've yet to find it. Annoying really. Molly performed very, very well in the jury rehearsal, so there's a real shot tomorrow!

The UK will perform 26th and last. Netherlands are 24th, Sweden 13th, Austria 11th. Game on.

Dutch TV have apparently said that Belarus showed a black screen instead of showing Conchita, which would be an instant DQ.